"I put my life on a shelf while everyone around me found happiness and wealth..."

Music has been a part of my life since I can remember. My mom raised me on it- old country and southern rock. When I got old enough I found my own that made sense to me. I had a rough time, I was an angry kid- really angry. I found music that made sense to me.

For some people the music they listen to is just something to take up the dead space in the air while they are going about their lives. For me its always been something to connect to and hold on to when nothing else was there. That's maybe a little dramatic but there were times in my life where I had NOTHING but what was in my tape deck.

It's still like that. Mental illness runs in my family. I refuse to listen to the TV and radio when it tells me I need a pill to feel ok about myself and to function. I don't need to be a perfect machine. I'm not beyond disease. I'm not above defect... that's from a song by The Swarm btw. I use music and excercise to stay balanced in my head. Neither ever lets me down. The following I could not do without (some of these names will sound familiar if you've been following my bullshit for a while)

Blacklisted (Heavier than Heaven/Lonelier than God, The Beat Goes on...)
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=3218282




Blood for Blood (spit my last breath, livin in exile, and outlaw anthems)
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=11661839

Wisdom in Chains (die young, class war)
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=5894406


The Swarm (parasitic skies, old blue eyes is dead, and the split 7" w/ force fed glass if you can find it)

Ruination (year one)

American Nightmare (s/t ep, background music)

Trash Talk (plagues)
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=28966217

This is Hell (sundowning)


SATURDAYS WORKOUT- day 3, week 1 of the 6 weeks back to glory p
While listening to most of this today I took it to myself SERIOUSLY with a good old fashioned circiut.

Started with GTG bent presses. On advice of someone from the AoS forum I tried it with a heavier weight and w/having a better understanding of hte form it was easier BUT I couldn't do the 24KG on my left side so I did 3 sets of 2 a side with the 20KG- felt great but def could use a lot more work.

Then w/ the 24KG(s) I did 4 rounds of
20 swings
5R/5L RR
3R/3L windmills
5R/5L MPs w/ 20KG (on first round I tried 24KG and I could only get 1 per side)

This kicked my ass. I really tried to go through exercises hard, with strict emphasis on form and keeping everything tight. It worked. My whole body is shaking. I also tried to take no break at all from excercise to excercise. It almost worked. I'm still trying to get back to full health and after the RR each round, I was wheezing some. I tried to push through it as much as I could- no vomiting though.

Then after round 4 of the circuit I finished off with
3 rounds back to back R/L single TGU's w/ 24KG.
1 round 8 floor press w/ 24KGs/1 push up
1 round 5 floor press w/ 24KGs/2 push up
1 round 5 floor press w/ 24KGs/3 push up

Then I called it in. That first round of 8 on the floor press was a bit much BUT i did like theory of floor press directly into push ups. It really made me realize I was doing a push up.

Tomorrow is strict cardio day. Jogging and maybe some snatch breathing ladders. After that i will be done with week 1 of my 6 weeks back to glory program.

One more side note- that flurpie day fucked me up. My whole body is sore. Biceps, forearms, legs, lower back (in a good, DL way)- everything.